Telling Your Kids about the move
Moving can be one of the most stressful events that people need to go through. You need to get everything packed up in your old place and moved to your new location as well as handle a million other things that come up in between. When you add children to the mix, there is a whole list of other challenges to consider. From the child missing their comfort of their old home to slightly older kids who will miss friends that they’ve made, moving with children is never easy. If you are looking to move soon with children, here are a few things we think that may make it slightly easier on them.
Let them Know Early
As soon as you make the decision, tell the family and let them get involved. Letting your child know that they are one of the first people who get to hear about the decision, will make them feel important during the move. Leaving them in the dark until just before the movers arrive is not going to be healthy at all.
Hold a Family Meeting
Holding a family meeting about the move is something important to consider. Avoid doing this in public place like a restaurant. Your child may not be happy with the news and doing it at home allows them the to express their emotions freely. Your goal is to do it in an open and warm environment where everyone will feel comfortable.
Remain Open to your child’s emotions
It is normal for your child to feel upset. Let them sit back and ask a bunch of questions or get upset or even storm off after the news. You can talk to them about it, but give them time to say what they want so they don’t feel like their opinion does not matter. Young minds may not be as developed as we think they are. Most young children are not able to rationalize the same way that adults do.
Gently let them know the Decision is Final
While it is normal for your kids to stomp around and get mad about the move, let them know the decision is final. Your children need to see that you are firm and sure about the decision. If you waver or feel some doubt about the move, this can make your children worry and they may feel worse than before. Even if you do have cold feet about the move, do not show this in front of your children. Talk to your spouse or a friend about it when the kids are not around, so it does not confuse them.
Provide the Necessary Information to the Kids
While you discuss the move with your children, you should let them know the general details about the move. Answer the questions of where, when, why and how. If they want to know more about the move, they are likely to ask. If you provide them too much information right away, it can overwhelm them. Start with the basics and give your child time to absorb and think about it and ask more questions when they are ready.
Let Them Ask the Questions
Once your children have had some time to absorb the news about the move, they will most certainly have some questions about it. Let them ask these questions and answer them as honestly as possible. If you are not sure about the answer, tell them that. Assure them that you will find out and come back to them as soon as you know. Be open to hearing about their feelings and listening to them. Everyone needs to be given a chance to voice their opinion and feelings to make this process work.
Spend some time talking about all of the good things that will come out of the move and some of the reasons why this is such a good thing for the whole family. Talk about the advantages of moving and be positive. Of course, also be realistic and do not exaggerate just to get everyone excited and make it seem like its going to be a bed of roses. Also, do not make promises that you are not sure you’ll be able to keep. Be honest but try to be as positive about the experience as possible.
Spend Time with Them
Moving is a stressful and busy time. But you need to still make time for your children. You can do it as a simple meeting each week to discuss the move or find another way to implement it into your routine. Just make sure that you do not give the news about the move and then never discuss it again until after the fact. Moving with children is not an easy task. We hope that the tips above can make this a little bit easier for you and the family. Feel free to contact us should you need any help at all.